


The Anguish of Chastity

by MasterRay5



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon, Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Oral Sex, Post Sailor Stars, Romance, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2019-08-30
Packaged: 2020-09-30 10:43:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20445830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MasterRay5/pseuds/MasterRay5
Summary: Has Mamoru's decision to remain chaste resulted in him losing Usagi? Plenty of personal torment in this one folks.





	The Anguish of Chastity

******  
"Celibacy is not just a matter of not having sex. It is a way of admiring a person for their humanity, maybe even for their beauty."

-Timothy Radcliffe  
*******

I have fought Youma, Droids, and creatures of literal nightmares for a long time. Yet, I found myself scared more than ever as I sat in a simple restaurant. My entire body stiffened, afraid to take another breath as my heart pounded so hard in my chest I worried it would burst through my sternum at any moment. I whispered a soft prayer to myself, hoping it would be answered. “Please, Usako...please come.” 

It started so simple and was worse before I knew what had happened. Kou Seiya had returned to the planet, insisting it was simply to inform us all of the progress Princess Kaguya had made in the restoration of their planet. In his male disguise, he mentioned how his siblings were still aiding their princess and he was alone. Immediately, the girls suggested a welcome back party was in order and planned it for the evening. 

Unfortunately, I had a paper which needed my attention and was due the next day so I insisted I wouldn’t be able to make it. Everyone said I would be missed and I left the group as they reminisced with Seiya. I then got a warning I should have followed. 

It was Makoto who followed me. She is probably the closest person I associate with amongst the Senshi after Usako. Our similar backgrounds made it easy to talk with her. When the others were caught up in family-related events, Makoto and I often would share dinner or coffee. I always relied on her advice and opinions when she brought them to me. Though what she told me didn’t come as a shock. 

“Seiya loves Usagi.” 

“Yeah...I had a feeling,” I grumbled, hating my own intuition. It was only a moment but it spoke volumes. It was after the battle with Galaxia, as the Starlights were saying their goodbyes when I noticed it. The look in Seiya’s eyes. It was a look of longing and desire directed right at Usako. Looking back, I could only imagine what would have happened if I hadn’t been there. Seiya would have pulled Usako into a long goodbye kiss with a promise of returning. The thought put a bad taste in my mouth. “So should I be worried?”

“Normally I would say no. Usagi-chan loves you more than anything,” Makoto confided. The smile which came from thinking of Usagi’s love for me faded just as quickly. “But...Seiya just seems to click with her. It's as if they have been friends for years.” 

“So should I treat Seiya as a rival?” I asked cracking my knuckles, hoping the “jealous boyfriend” joke would get Makoto to smile again. Unfortunately, it didn’t return and I began to feel the weight of her concern. 

“This isn’t an evil prince or some drunk salaryman hoping she’s a call girl,” Makato addressed, reminding me of one of the few times I did play the jealous boyfriend. We had been out late after fighting some of the Dead Moon Circus and decided to walk home. Usagi was still her in school uniform and we were near Ebisu Alley. A salaryman who was over his limit for the night approached her in the brief moments I walked away to get us coffee from the vending machine. He took Usagi for a prostitute and wouldn’t accept “No” for an answer. When I saw how he was harassing her, I dropped the cans of coffee, grabbed him by his tie, threw him over my shoulder and into a pile of garbage. “Frankly, I think Seiya is one of the few individuals who would be ideal to have Usagi’s as a partner. If she didn’t have you.” 

My heart stopped for a moment and my teeth clenched tight. Seiya was worse than a rival. He was someone who desired Usagi’s heart and could actually have a means of sweeping her off her feet and out of my life. I needed to make sure I took the time to take Seiya aside and insist I loved Usagi more than anything and would never do anything to hurt her. 

I thanked Makoto for her help, insisted I would get my work done as quick as possible, and make an appearance at the party. I made it to my motorcycle, rode to the library, and hunkered down with my paper. I wrote like a madman, barely taking breaks to use the restroom. I wanted this paper done, submitted, and my night free so I could guarantee Usagi was in my arms by the end of the evening. 

I finished around ten, not my best work but good enough given my state of mind. There was still plenty of time for me to make it to the Crown Cafe and join the party. I made it outside to my motorcycle right as the rain to start coming down. I made my way towards the Cafe, hoping I would get my time alone to make it clear to Seiya just how important Usagi was to me. 

I parked my bike, jogged towards the Cafe, but was greeted with my worst nightmare made real. There, in front of the cafe, under a familiar bunny print pink umbrella was Usagi with a look of surprise on her face. In front of her was Seiya, securing her by the shoulders and pressing her into a kiss. My eyes grew wide and my throat became dry. All I was able to mutter was a faint, “U-usako…”

My arrival was noticed by Usagi, who retreated from Seiya. She looked at me with her eyes full of tears. I knew she was embarrassed and afraid of what I had seen. Her response made it clear she could see the pain on my own face by what I had witnessed.

“Mamo-chan! It’s...it’s not…,” Unable to articulate what was happening, Usagi dropped her umbrella, turned, and ran away leaving Seiya I and alone. I briefly wondered if I should tell him to prepare for the fight or just unleash one well placed jab on his perfect jawline. The long-haired bastard watched Usako disappear from sight before turning to me with a very smug expression on his face. I clenched my fists and did everything in my power to resist the urge to nail him into the pavement.

“She’s so cute when she gets flustered,” Seiya chuckled, lifting his head, seeming to enjoy the rain pouring on his face. Every word out of his mouth only increased my rage. “So, how was the library? Did you get your paper done?”

“Let’s get one thing clear. I don’t like you,” I grunted through clenched teeth. It took every ounce of restraint not to punch him. “I don’t like anyone who messed with Usako, especially for their own damn amusement.”

“I mess with her because of how I feel,” Seiya insisted, his smile gone as he looked at me with a very serious look in his eyes. I had seen the expression in many guys during college drinking parties. It was the look of someone looking for a fight. I knew better though. He wanted me to punch him so he could run to Usako, insist she was dating a violent person, and be more than happy to let her nurse his wounds. I was not going to give him the satisfaction but I longed to hit him. “I love her more than you ever could.”

“I doubt that,” I spat as I stepped forward. This man had just kissed my girlfriend and was claiming he knew her better than I did. He needed to learn who he was messing with. “Usako and I have fought hard to be together. We have a future. A bright one.” 

“We shall see. I can tell you this much. I have never made her cry unnecessarily. Unlike you,”  
Seiya replied. He hailed a cab and was gone before I had time to release my anger. Instead, I found myself punching a nearby metal pole. I managed to dent the structure and my hand still throbbed from the incident. I kept telling myself “He took her by surprise” and “She probably didn’t enjoy it” but the denial did nothing to soothe my burning rage. 

I texted Usako as soon as I got out of the rain. I sent “I want to talk. I’m not mad” hoping she would reply. She didn’t which made me feel even worse. Usako had an average reply time of seconds. When she didn’t there was always a reason. LIke she fell asleep or was heavy into girl time with her team or...she had just been kissed by someone who wasn’t me. 

I made it home through the rain, forcing myself into a hot shower to make sure I didn’t catch a cold, and found myself in bed staring at my phone. It had been an hour and no reply. I was beyond frustrated but between forcing myself through my schoolwork, driving through the rain, and seeing my girlfriend being kissed by someone else, the exhaustion of the day was getting the better of me. 

I texted Usako with my usual goodnight message, “Goodnight my princess. @-->-->---” before putting the phone on my nightstand and falling asleep. 

***

I awoke the next morning to find a strand of “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry” messages on my phone. I replied, insisting I wanted to meet her in the park and talk. She agreed and I made my way there. 

When I arrived, I found her looking exceptionally beautiful in jeans and a pink shirt. As I approached, I noticed something was wrong. Her face looked excessively tired as if she didn’t get a bit of sleep last night. I could only imagine she had spent the night crying about what had happened. I wanted nothing more to kiss her until she smiled but I had to fulfill my bitter curiosity. 

I sat next to her on the bench, cleared my throat to make sure I spoke as clearly and calmly as possible, and asked her my burning question. 

“Do you love him?”

She faltered. At times I knew Usako better than she knew herself, at least I thought I did. She had a passion and a zest for life matched by few. She would often charge headfirst into a situation based on emotion and because she believed it was the right thing to do. As soon as I asked the question a look of hesitation washed over her face and she stared down at her hands. It was then I realized her hands were naked. The ring I had given her before departing for America, the ring I had placed on her finger to symbolize my love and my intent to marry her was gone. My stomach twisted with anxiety in ways which hurt worse than death. An experience I was all too familiar with. 

“I….I mean…,” Usako stuttered, trying to find what to say. She grabbed the sides of her head and began to shake as if she was experiencing a psychic attack from an enemy. I knew this wasn’t the case and her emotions were swirling around inside of her. “I...I don’t…” 

She began to sob softly. A few passersby gave me a dirty look as if I was breaking up with the poor girl. If only they knew what was really going on. I made sure to choose my words properly. I decided not to mention Chibi Usa, because it felt like a low blow. Also, I would never want Chibi Usa born to two parents who didn’t love one another. The last thing I wanted was for Usagi to become locked into a loveless marriage for the sake of the future.

I managed to contain my jealousy and rage at the idea of Seiya stealing the love of my life away from me long enough to ensure I didn’t say, “It’s him or me.” Instead, I swallowed it all and knew what needed to be said at the moment. 

“Usako, I love you more than anything. You are the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing before I go to bed. The idea of us sharing a future together, even if we never become Queen and King of the planet always puts a smile on my face. Still, we have fought too many enemies who would force their love on others to repeat such a mistake. I want nothing more than your happiness and...if you feel he can make you happier and more content than I can..then you need to be with them.” 

She looked up at me with tear-filled eyes. There was nothing more I hated in my life than seeing those dazzling and captivating eyes of hers filled with tears. It hurt my very soul, especially the times in my life I had been the reason why she cried. I held my hand up and stopped her from forcing herself to speak. I wanted to know the truth. 

“I...I want you to search your heart. Don’t be rash and don’t be afraid of hurting me,” I insisted, trying my best to cover how much pain I would experience if she wasn’t in my life. “Please take some time to think it over. I don’t want you to regret your decisions. Though...if you come to a decision and if you are up for it, I’d love to take you out to dinner tonight. Maybe the Italian restaurant you love so much. Say seven?” 

She stared at me, no doubt confused why I wasn’t more angry with her about what had happened. I dared not give in to the rage or jealousy burning in my stomach. Usako wiped her tears, nodded, and formed a small half smile. I leaned down, kissed her forehead, and slowly turned away. “See you later...Usagi.” 

In the moment, for some reason, I couldn’t bring myself to use her nickname. I didn’t look back to see if it made any more impact. All I could tell was I needed to get away, as my very presence seemed to be causing her torment. 

Hours had passed and I found myself in the restaurant where I had told her to meet me. Alone in my seat, staring at the clock on my phone like it was a bomb about to explode. I buried my face in my palms, cursing my own heroism. Congratulations Mr. Chiba, you had a perfect boyfriend moment. Shame it might have just driven her into the arms of somewhere else. 

“Baka, Baka, Baka!” I muttered into my palms. I took my hands away long enough to grab my water glass and drain it. My mouth was dry as a desert, but I knew my soul would experience the same sensation if Usako didn’t show up. Her light had a way of making even the darkest situation seem hopeful and to no longer have it in my life anymore felt like a fate worse than death. More than anything I wanted to be the one to make her happy. I thought I could ensure she was safe, no matter what. “Why didn’t you just stay in the country?”

My life had been the first casualty of Sailor Galaxia’s rampage on Earth. Part of me believed if I had just stayed in Tokyo, none of this would have happened. Seiya wouldn’t have had an opportunity to take advantage of Usako’s lonely heart. Unaware of my temporary demise, she believed I had forgotten her, found someone else, and was purposefully ignoring her pain. 

No! This was the farthest from the truth. I boarded the flight to America in hopes of guaranteeing my doctorate. To ensure I would know how to heal others and supply Usagi with a safe future even if Crystal Tokyo never came into existence. From the moment I sat in the seat to the last second as my consciousness faded away, all I could think of was you...Usako. 

Part of me knew this was just wishful thinking. I had a feeling, even if I stayed in Tokyo, Galaxia would have still found a way to track me down and make me the first casualty no matter which path I took. As if destiny itself was angry about how bright our future together was and insisted we needed to suffer. Well I was indeed feeling some excruciating torture. Sitting around, wondering if the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with had left me for someone else was on par with the feeling of being corrupted by Queen Beryl or having a shard of cursed mirror embedded in my body. 

I looked at my watch to check the time. I picked up my phone to check to see if she had sent me a message. I looked towards this door in hopes she would walk in with a smile on her face. This cycle continued for what seemed like an eternity. Watch, phone, door. Watch, phone, door. Watch, phone, door.

Before long it was past the time I had mentioned. She was late. Nothing new for her. She always had a problem of being on time. I waited. She was ten minutes late. No sweat. She was thirty minutes late. It happens. Then, at the hour mark, after the waitress had asked me for the tenth time if I wanted to order or if I was still waiting for my party to arrive, something inside me broke and I accepted a bitter truth: She wasn’t coming.

In the span of a few seconds, the stages of grief rushed through me like a tsunami crashing against the shore: 

Denial: “She will be here!”  
Anger: “I’ll kill Seiya for this.”  
Bargaining: “Powers that be, I’ll give up being a doctor. Just please bring her back into my life.”  
Depression: “How...am I going to live without Usagi in my life?”  
Acceptance: “She’s gone.” 

I needed some confirmation. Some type of sign what I was feeling was true and not just my negativity getting the best of me. I picked up my phone, dialed her number, and silently begged she would pick up. “Please, please, please…” 

Unfortunately, my call went to voicemail and the sweet tones of her voice only caused my pain to amplify. “Hey, its Usagi. I’m probably fumbling to pull out my phone so leave a message or I’ll punish you!” 

I ended the call, deciding not to leave a message. A voicemail would only make it more difficult. I had promised I wouldn’t make things hard for her. Afterall I wanted nothing more than her happiness and she deserved to be happy instead of having another obstacle in her life. I tipped the server for the time I took up at the table and made my way out of the restaurant. 

My car ride home was full of his regret, matched by the weather as it started to rain for the second day in a row. My tormented mind started to reflect on the mistakes I had made in our relationship which probably added to Usagi’s decision to choose Seiya. Though many would think the time I was tricked into breaking up with her was my biggest mistake, it came in second. The bigger error rang in my mind and made me think I could have prevented this entire outcome. My decision to remain chaste. 

My decision had even left Makoto to ask, “Are you asexual?” I remember she made sure to be wearing a low cut shirt to see if I would steal a glance. I'm ashamed to admit I did. The girl does have a nice chest. 

No. My sexual orientation was not a problem. I craved Usako more than air in my lungs or food in my stomach. In truth, I feared the situation we were in. The difference in our ages was apparent and everyone who wasn’t the Senshi or close friends looked down on it. I was reminded by the death glare I received every time Tsukino Kenji saw me near his daughter of the situation we were in. I was an older man dating a younger woman, a predator who would easily consume a little rabbit the first chance I got. 

The gap had given us a stigma by society and I thought if I had sex with Usako, something would go wrong. I had abstained from taking things to the next level with her because I feared it would be risking fate. As if we didn’t wait destiny would punish us for not being pure. I was just trying to do the right thing. 

I had taken the moral high ground far too much. She assumed I was dense and wasn’t aware of what she wanted. When she would say “I need to be warmed up” I would suggest making her cocoa instead. I wasn’t oblivious Usako. I was trying to protect you, I wanted nothing more than to throw you on a bed and make love to you all night. I acted ignorant to her advances, but I was far from blind. I knew exactly what she wanted. I wondered if it wasn’t my own ignorance which caused her to doubt our love. If I had just been more physical with her. 

With my vehicle parked, I made it through the rain to the front of my apartment building, not caring if I caught a cold. I entered the elevator and pressed my body against the cold metal of the structure. The sensation added to my damp clothing but was welcome as my body burned from the inside with swirling despair. 

My regret continued to plague my mind as I rode up to my apartment. The remorse caused opportunities I didn’t take to seem real. An image formed in my head of the summer I had taken a job as a busboy at a high class hotel. Usako and the rest of the girls came to visit me, sitting by the poolside and turned many a head in the swimsuits they wore. I remember when I saw her, my hands full of dishes, but I took a perfect mental picture of how she looked. The cute green swimsuit decorated with flowers seemed conservative enough but I noticed the little details. The garment hugged at her hips and ass in a way which drove me crazy. The instant I had a momentary break I excused myself to the restroom and pleasured myself to a fantasy of dropping those dishes, picking her up, throwing her on the table, and taking her right there in public. It was a vivid dream and one I still referred to regularly to relieve my stress. 

I slammed my fist against the elevator walls, biting my lip to keep the tears from falling from my eyes. The fantasy would be all I would ever have now. Usako had chosen another man because she believed I did not desire her. I would never have the opportunity to hold her in my arms, dress her down, and make love to her all night. 

As if to add to my pain my regret caused a mental picture to form of Usagi in a robe, approaching a bed where Seiya sat, and dropping her robe to reveal seductive lingerie underneath. A white babydoll with matching bikini panties underneath, what I always thought Usako would wear when we would make love for the first time. I punched the elevator harder over and over, not allowing the nightmare to continue any further. The thought of another person being with Usagi in any form was more than I could bear.

The elevator door opened and I was inside my apartment with the door shut a moment later. I fell to my knees and clutched my chest, afraid my heart would stop from the agony. The pain and anguish were too much to handle and I collapsed. I began to cry. Tears from my very soul poured out and my howl echoing through my empty apartment. I laid there for what seemed like an eternity, unable to compose myself. 

When I finally was able to breathe properly through all my whimpering, I crawled to my coat closet and found what I needed. A sweater. A pink Hello Kitty sweater, with cat ears on the hood Usagi had left. I had told her previously she had forgotten it but she seemed to take pride in the idea of leaving items around my place as if she was marking her territory. I pulled the sweater from the hanger and shoved it into my face. I inhaled the lingering scent of Usagi the fabric still held. The smell made my heart calm for a moment, but it wasn’t enough to hold back the pain. The tears once again fell from my eyes fell and were absorbed by the garment. I clutched it like a child needing a security blanket to fend off the monsters in the closet. 

No. No this was wrong. If our love was worth dying for then it was worth fighting for. If anything I needed to hear the truth. I decided to call her again and even if it was over the phone and she would be unable to face me, I wanted to hear her decision. Hear she had decided to be with the one-hit wonder more than me. 

I reached into my pocket, pulling out my phone, and was about to dial her number when a flash of lightning lit up my apartment. A deafening crack of thunder followed which shook me to my soul. It was immediately followed by a noise which filled me a sensation of brief optimism. It was a familiar whimper of fear. 

I made my way deeper into my apartment holding my breath the entire time. “Please, please” I pleaded. “Don’t be my mind playing tricks on me.”

My very being froze when I stepped into the main area. In my bed, wrapped in my sheets, and clutching my pillow like a teddy bear was Usako. She was sniffling, her ever-present fear of thunder getting the best of her. Next to the bed was a trail of clothing, damp, and leading to the balcony. It became apparent she had gotten caught in the rain, transformed into Sailor Moon, and made her way into my place through the open sliding door. She was laying in my bed afraid, naked, and attempting to seek warmth. 

“U-usako,” I muttered, taking the time to bite my lip right to the point before it bled. I needed the sensation of pain to make sure I was awake and she wasn't a dream. The sharp discomfort was the answer I needed. I was not hallucinating. She was here and I had been given a second chance. 

Responding to my call she lifted her head and stared at me with flushed cheeks and tears in the corner of her eyes. She pulled back, continuing to hug my pillow, and seemed startled by my appearance. I suppose I can't blame her. I must have looked horrifying with my face distorted from crying, near violently biting my lip, and clutching her sweater tight in my fist. 

“Mamo...I, I,” She began flustered, still clutching the pillow tightly. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, showing off her reddened cheeks. I couldn’t tell if she was flushed from getting in out of the rain or if she was nervous. “I...I tried to make it to the restaurant..but I got held up and I dropped my phone...it broke, even with a case. Can you believe my luck? I…”

I didn’t let her finish her explanation. I launched myself towards her and wrapped my arms around her. I buried my face into the crevice between her neck and shoulder and held her tight. I began to weep again, not having a care for how I looked to the rest of the world. Usako was my princess, my girlfriend, and the only woman I could ever love. She had come back to me and I was overcome with emotions over the fear I had lost her. I could let the mask of detachment and coolness drop around her. After all, it was this sense of remoteness which only made her question my love for her. 

“I-I love you,” I cried into her shoulder laying bare my emotional anguish. I needed her to see the void created by the very notion she had disappeared from my life. I wanted to express just how much she meant to me. “The idea of losing you...I do want you to be happy but...I need you in my life. You complete me and make me a better person. I know I’m not always great at conveying how I feel but…”

“Shh, shh, Oh Mamo-chan, I should be sorry,” Usako cooked before sniffling herself. She cradled my cheeks in her hands and kissed me my tears away. ”I...I enjoyed spending time with Seiya and I thought I was developing feelings for him but...I realized it was only a friendship. I never felt the security and warmth I do when you are near. When we hug me. When we kiss.” 

I took the initiative and kissed her deep finding myself filled with the light of solace which Usako could only give me. I deepened the kiss, my hands reaching up, and taking hers off my face to join mine. As I held her tight, my thumb brushed across her fingers, coming to a stop at her ring. She had put it back on. I stopped kissing her long enough to bring her hand up and kiss the jewelry. 

I smiled at her and admitted, “It scared me when you took it off.” 

Usako tossed the pillow to the end of the bed to minimize the distance between us but she kept the sheet tight against her body. I wished she wasn’t so intent on keeping herself covered. Still, her smile was more than enough to distract me as she looked down at the ring. “It didn’t feel right wearing it. Like I wasn’t treating you or it properly.”

“You always treat me wonderfully,” I confessed into the top of her head, before giving her a kiss, and stealing a loving sniff of hair. Her aroma always had an intoxicating effect on me. I now had to make sure I still had the same effect on her. “We need to stop being so worried we are going to lose one another over everything.” 

“We are in high demand aren’t we?” Usako asked before chuckling. We began exchanging small kisses. I was taking in the sheer joy of what was happening. She was here because she loved me and wanted to continue our journey together as soulmates. As we continued to show my affection, my hand moved to her naked back and I felt how chilled she was. 

“Usako, your freezing,” I consoled her my hand stroked her back in an effort to warm her up. “You’ll get sick.” 

“I guess I could use something to warm me up,” She admitted as her eyes looked down at the wet pile of clothing on the floor. “Do you have any cocoa or…”

Her question stopped short as she turned back toward me and saw I had discarded my jacket, dress shirt, and undershirt. I was bare chested in front of her. My confidence returned as she gasped at my sudden actions. “I was hoping for something a bit more intimate.” 

“A-are you s-sure?” Usako stuttered as she admired my chest. It made me feel good about keeping up with my exercise routine. Her cheeks redden, even more, when she realized she was admiring me for too long. “I-I mean…”

“I’ve treated you poorly,” I admitted to her, as I used a finger to guide her face so our eyes locked again. I needed to tell her more about how I was feeling. “Like you were a china doll I was going to break. For too long I felt I was a bad man offering a little girl candy on the street. But I’ve realized I am not going to corrupt you. I’m going to respect every aspect of your body.” 

She pushed me away, turned her back to me, and I immediately feared I had been too forceful with my advance. This worry was immediately dissolved as Usako reached up, undid her hair and let the torrent of gold flow over her back. She turned back, crossing her arms over her chest as the sheet fell, and cast her eyes down at the bed. She was simultaneously radiating desire and insecurity. “Am...am I sexy.” 

I cursed myself. This was another repercussion of my chastity. A creature who possessed beauty artists spent their entire life trying to capture and replicate doubted her own sensuality and allure. She was a vision, a seductress trapped in the body of a virgin, waiting for her true love to set her free. I would not let her have such doubts any further and knew it was my duty to liberate her and make her realize just how desirable she was. 

I decided to be more direct than ever with her. I stood up, reached towards my belt, undid my pants, and let them drop to the floor. My erection strained against the thin material of my boxers, giving her a perfect illustration of the effect she had on me. “This is what you do to me every time I see you. It took a lot of willpower to not make a move on your before. From now on though, my only resolution is to please you with every fiber of my being.” 

“Oh my,” Usako cooed as she reached out with her finger and touched my tip through my boxers. The sensation caused me to hiss in air. A gentle caress was all it took and a shiver went through my entire being. This was the power Usako unconsciously had over me. Every bit of physical contact drove me wild and now I was finally going to embrace it. No more refusals only to pleasure myself to fantasies of her in private. “I-I did that? It feels so hard. Does it hurt?” 

“It can,” I admitted as I looked into her caring eyes. Her heart was so big and loving. I couldn’t get enough of her. “Often I have needed to seek personal measures to be able to concentrate.” 

“Then I will gladly relieve you of your pain,” Usako offered as she gently wrapped her fingers around my length. I wanted nothing more than to allow her to explore my body but I had other plans. I gently grabbed her wrist and reluctantly pulled her off my erection. “What? Did I do something…

“Wrong? No. Not at all,“ I grinned, finding her uncertainty to be so charming. “Still I am the one who has not been appreciating you. I want you to feel pleasure first.”

“Mamo,” Usako smiled at me softly, more blush appearing on her cheeks at the idea of me pleasuring her. “You don’t have to.”

“Shh,” I pressed two fingers to her lips to silence her before grabbing her shoulders and directing her to lie down. “This is something I feel I need to do to truly so my princess how much I care for her”.

“Then, I am at your mercy, my prince,” Usako replied as she closed her eyes and readied herself for what I had in mind. 

I leaned down and started to kiss her, softly teasing. I made my way down with kisses as I went to her neck, and made sure to plant a kiss, which turned into a gentle yet firmer nibble. We had left marks on each other’s body before but this time it felt very satisfying marking her as my own. Stopping at the bottom of her neck I gently pulled the sheet back and exposed her breasts to the open. Two perfect pale mounds with light pink roses on top greeted me. They were another element which made her so damn breathtaking and intoxicating. 

"So beautiful,” I whispered as I kissed dead center between the valley on her chest. She purred and closed her eyes, enjoying the sensation I was giving her. I moved my face to her right breast and took it into my mouth. I began to adore her nipple with a series of licks, nibbled, and kisses. 

She responded by taking her fingers into my hair and nails racing against my scalp which let me know I was doing very well with my performance. I moved to the other side and gave the other breast the same amount of attention enjoying as my beloved squirmed in glee underneath me. I continued my journey of exploration to worship her body, a trail of kisses marking my path down her flat smooth stomach. I paid close attention to every audible noise and reaction I achieved as if trying to map out every spot on her body which could be used to send her into a sexual fever in future sessions. 

Soon I came to a stop at her the gateway from her closed thighs. I found the area above as smooth as the rest of her body. I was one of the few able to confirm internet rumors the girls shaved this area so perverts wouldn't succeed in getting up-skirt pictures to post online. I dismissed these nameless offenders who would disrespect my darling princess and her devoted friends for their own benefit. I was a man on a mission. Tasked with delivering as much pleasure as possible to Usako on her first sexual experience with another. 

With my hands on her knees, it took no convincing for her to open her legs and allow me access to her most private area. It was a breathtaking sight to behold. Her core was a perfect shade of pink with a gentle shine from her honey spilling out. I could have gazed at it lovingly at inner lips for hours to try and take in every aspect of her beauty but I feared if I didn’t make some kind of comment she would become self-conscious. 

"Elegant," I proclaimed as I did my best to tear my gaze away from her jewel back to her face. She blushed and smiled at my compliment, feeling very at ease with my declaration. "Please allow me to caress you."

She closed her eyes and nodded as if mentally preparing herself for what I was about to do. I was enjoying the hold I had at her in the moment. I began by kissing both of her inner thighs, letting the anticipation build. Moving to her core, I planted a kiss on her center and sent a chill up her spine. I licked my lips, cleaning them of her nectar. Usako had a taste sweeter than anything I had tasted in my entire life and I needed more. Continuing my efforts, I began to use my tongue to trace the Hiragana alphabet symbols all over. I had heard a playboy at my college brag about it but I had never had an opportunity to try it until now. 

It turned out I owed the playboy a cup of coffee. By the time I reached “Ka” Usako had dug her fingers into my hair to ensure I’d stay on task and when I reached “Ne” I achieved my goal. She threw her head back, used her free hand to grab the sheets, and screamed my name as she orgasmed. Her honey flowed freely and her flower glittered even brighter. Ae she came down from her high I decided I needed to reposition myself and give into my own need for release.

“I’m going to enter you,” I whispered as I moved up and looked deep into her eyes. I only feared my first penetration would hurt her and I wanted to assure her whatever came next would only be discomforting for a moment. "I'll go slow."

"I'm in your hands," Usako admitted as she surrendered herself, laid back, and spread her legs more. "I am yours."

Hearing her say such words of submission ignited a fire inside me even more. I placed one hand on the mattress next to her head to support myself and reached down to align myself with her entrance. My tip was at her core but I made sure to glance at her face one more and wait for a nod to confirm I was allowed access to her canal. With her blessing, I pushed my tip in and joined as one. 

It was an exhilarating feeling. I gritted my teeth, enjoying the intense sensation rushing through me but doing my best to remember to take things slowly. She had previously told me how her mother had let her go on birth control (another wasted moment to take our relationship to this level) so I had no fear of her getting pregnant. All I needed to concentrate on was treating her properly. 

I moved inch by inch into Usako, until I found myself against a barrier. Her virginity. I knew I shouldn’t have been surprised but part of me wondered if her time as Sailor Moon wouldn’t have taken her hymen. I knew this would be the worst part for her but I knew it was inevitable. I thrust forward and with a single action made her into a woman.

Her body tensed in response to my advance and I waited for her discomfort to decrease. When I felt her body start to relax, I continued to move. As I thrusted, I made sure to give my beloved as much attention as possible. I nipped and kissed at her ear and her neck, enjoying every little noise of pleasure which resonated from Usako. 

I made sure to make my own enjoyment rapture as I gripped the sheets tightly, and growled into her neck, “Usako! You’re so tight!”

My princess giggled. She encircled me with her legs as her arms reached back and raked her nails across my back. I was pleasuring her and I wanted her to feel more. I sneaked a hand down between thrusts and used my fingers to find her pearl. I rubbed it, increasing the satisfaction she was feeling. With my combination of thrusting, nipping, and teasing, Usako’s body tensed again and she achieved orgasm for the second time. She was so lost in the pleasure she was unaffected as another bolt of lightning illuminated the sky and the thunder shook the windows.

“Oh mamo,” She breathed as she rode down from the high of her satisfaction. “You’ve made me feel so good. Please, please let me know what you need to climax. I’ll fulfill any fantasy you have!”

All of my stored up fantasies involving Usako flooded my mind. Various pieces of lingerie, lewd swimsuits she would wear only for me in a hot tub for the two of us, and even restraining her with a bit of light bondage. All of these moments would require preparation and time. All I needed was to let go and get lost in the moment. 

“Get on top,” I insisted. “And beg for my release.” 

“Anything for you Mamo,” Usako purred before we held each other close and rolled together. Soon, she was on top, rolling her hips, and working herself on my shaft. It was ecstasy. “More, Mamo! Please give me your seed! I’ll be your slave! Your toy! Whatever you need to feel good!” 

“All I need,” I proclaimed as I watched her body rode me, her breasts bouncing in time, and hair encircled the entire bed. “Is you in my life!” 

With my declaration, I became lost in the sensations, grabbed her hips, and increased my speed. Within a few thrusts, Usako’s exquisite flower captivated my body and I achieved release. 

My climax was like nothing I was able to replicate by myself. As I came I felt a unique sensation of being drained of energy yet replenished all at the same time. Usako's love and warmth returned to me when I hit my peak and for a moment I became disconnected from the world. I believe I achieved perfect Nirvana, a state of absolute contentment, a place mystics had spent hours of meditation trying to achieve but I had been able to reach it by making love to my soulmate. It was an experience I swore I would pledge my entire existence to reach if just once more. 

"I love you Mamo," Usako whispered as she fell on top of me and used my chest as a pillow. I looked down at her. Her body seemed to radiate in the soft light of the moon reflecting off the thin layer of sweat produced from our lovemaking. With her hair down and her eyes wide, she looked more beautiful than ever. 

"I love you so much Usako," I panted, trying to control my breathing to slow my heart. I buried my nose in her hair and enjoyed the heavenly aroma it contained. Between her natural perfume, her warm body, and the aftermath of our lovemaking I had reached a level of gratification few men dreamed of achieving. Giving in to my exhaustion, I closed my eyes and fell asleep. 

***

I was awoken the next morning by the sun shining through my windows. My body was still tired and drained in a way which served as a perfect reminder of my union with Usako the previous evening. I opened my eyes and adjusted to the light but soon found my bed was empty. My heart skipped a beat in disbelief. Had I dreamed the whole thing? My addled mind unable to take accept the fact Usagi had left me and I had simply created a vivid fantasy to cope with my despair.

Just as it seemed like I would keep going in circles with my grief, a noise in the kitchen got my attention. Coming back with two cups of coffee in hand, wearing my dress shirt over her naked body was my Usako. A smile formed across my face as I realized she was real. 

“Good morning,” I sang as I accepted the cup of coffee Usako offered as she came close. I took a sip of the beverage and found it was just the way I like it. “My darling, I don’t think I could love you anymore if I tried.” 

“Well, you should know,” Usako chuckled as she sat next to me on the bed and laid her head against my shoulder. “The reason I was so late for dinner yesterday is because I stopped off to see Seiya at his hotel. I went and let him know we could only be friends. He didn’t take it well and he tried to make a move again. When he didn’t take no for an answer, I punched in the face. Now I’m not sure I broke his nose but there was some blood.”

I let out a loud laugh and shook the bed. I wrapped my arm around her waist and kissed Usako’s cheek. “I stand corrected. I do love you more.”

“So,” Usako cooed as she held her coffee cup and nuzzled against my shoulder. “What should we do next? I’ve never had a sleepover like this before.” 

“Well,” I began after taking a long swig of coffee. I knew I would need energy for what I had in mind. “I thought we could have breakfast and then take the time to hash out rules and guidelines for moving forward in this new level we have taken in our relationship.” 

“But,” I added as I put my coffee cup down on the nightstand before taking her hand and slowly moving it under the sheets. “Considering the fact, such a mindset instilled in me fear someone else who showed you more affection could steal you away from me, I have a better idea. I am going to suggest we stay in bed a little bit longer and implore your help to take care of my morning arousal.”

“Oh wow,” Usako gasped as I placed her hand on my rigid manhood. She squeezed me tight before placing her own coffee cup on the nightstand. She pulled the sheet back and exposed me to the room. “It looks so painful. Why don’t I try kissing it and making it better?” 

I laid back and allowed Usako to engulf me again in her love. Before I lost all thought and became overcome in the gratification of our lovemaking again, I made myself a promise. I would never withhold any affection or intimacy from my beloved princess and soulmate ever again. The passion we shared only made our love stronger.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: There you have it. Basically, this is my response to the original 90s Sailor Moon anime. I never really liked how the series ended with such a lackluster declaration of love from Mamoru. Especially after most of Sailor Moon Stars was dedicated to Seiya trying to sweep Usagi off her feet and how much of a better ending the manga had. Can’t wait for Crystal to finally animate Usagi and Mamoru in bed after a night of making love. Kudos and comments will help me to decide if I’m going to write more in this genre in the future. 
> 
> Thanks to Aya Faulkner for being the Alpha Reader.


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